As a married couple, do you read or listen to the news together or silently alone? Do you look forward to chatting together while eating lunch or at the end of the day? Do you make time for small exchanges of love amidst your busy hectic schedules.
What’s really occurring in these small and brief exchanges is that husband’s and wives are connecting--they are tuning into each others world by turning toward each other. These couples are building mutual trust. Those who don’t connect with each other are likely to lose their way.
Real life romance is kept alive each time you let your spouse know he or she is valued during the grind of everyday life. In marriage, couples are always (consciously or subconsciously) reaching out for each other’s attention, affection, humor or support. Will you ignore those vital signs or tune in to recognize those often hidden advances for your attention? Turning toward your partner is the basis of trust, emotional connection, passion and a satisfying sex life.
Romance is strengthened by the small and simple things like when your partner gives subtle hints like “would you like to go to the store with me?” or “Do you like this outfit? Or Does this color look good on me?”
Romance will grow when your spouse is having a bad day and you take a few seconds out of your schedule to send an encouraging text. Partners can make a choice to turn toward each other rather than away from each other. If you make the time to be receptive to your spouses needs, the reward will pay huge dividends. Tune in to your partner and do not be distracted.
Having a realization that you shouldn’t take your everyday interactions for granted makes an enormous difference in your relationship. Being helpful will do far more for the strength and passion of your marriage than a two week bahamas getaway
Another small but noteworthy mention which has a potential hazard in our relationships is electronic devices. I speak from personal experience.
Electronic devices have gotten us used to having our concentration and focus interrupted. This electronic distraction does not benefit intimate relationships. Love and Intimacy require the habit of being aware and paying attention to our spouse. Often partners will complain that the other is preoccupied and unavailable.
I am reminded of a story told by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, second counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
The main theme of his talk is:
“The difference between happiness and misery … often comes down to an error of only a few degrees.”
I quote directly from his remarks:
"In 1979 a large passenger jet with 257 people on board left New Zealand for a sightseeing flight to Antarctica and back. Unknown to the pilots, however, someone had modified the flight coordinates by a mere two degrees. This error placed the aircraft 28 miles (45 km) to the east of where the pilots assumed they were. As they approached Antarctica, the pilots descended to a lower altitude to give the passengers a better look at the landscape. Although both were experienced pilots, neither had made this particular flight before, and they had no way of knowing that the incorrect coordinates had placed them directly in the path of Mount Erebus, an active volcano that rises from the frozen landscape to a height of more than 12,000 feet (3,700 m).
As the pilots flew onward, the white of the snow and ice covering the volcano blended with the white of the clouds above, making it appear as though they were flying over flat ground. By the time the instruments sounded the warning that the ground was rising fast toward them, it was too late. The airplane crashed into the side of the volcano, killing everyone on board.
It was a terrible tragedy brought on by a minor error—a matter of only a few degrees.1.
The difference of a few degrees may seem minor. But even small errors over time can make a dramatic difference in our lives.
No one wants his life to end in tragedy. But all too often, like the pilots and passengers of the sightseeing flight, we set out on what we hope will be an exciting journey only to realize too late that an error of a few degrees has set us on a course for spiritual disaster.
It is therefore of critical importance that we become self-disciplined enough to make early and decisive corrections to get back on the right track and not wait or hope that errors will somehow correct themselves.
The longer we delay corrective action, the larger the needed changes become, and the longer it takes to get back on the correct course—even to the point where a disaster might be looming."
I would liken this story to another “exciting Journey” called Marriage! I plead with you to stay on course. If you take your partner for granted and stop doing the little things that build intimacy and trust, your course will begin to wander a degree here and there until years begin to pass and eventually the relationship becomes very difficult to get back on course
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